


The Sandgrouse and the Dove

by poTAYto416



Category: Spies Are Forever
Genre: Barb gets PTSD, F/F, PTSD, mentions of torture, soft Tati
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 03:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19821373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poTAYto416/pseuds/poTAYto416
Summary: This is my first bit of angst from Spies, and I’m super happy with how it turned out. This will definitely be multi-chapter. Also: I used google translate for a few things, so it isn’t perfect. I also know how to English, but for Barb’s kidnapper, English isn’t his first language, so it’s broken English.





	1. Chapter 1

Barb always managed to put a smile on Tatiana’s face. She didn’t know how, but Barb was just… one of those people. She always asked how you were doing, brought you tea when you were upset or not feeling well, she always remembered your birthday. Which was nice, because Tatiana didn’t do _any_ of that. She tried to be like that, don’t get her wrong, it just… didn’t happen. She had her own ways of showing she cared; she was less of a dick to you, she laughed at your jokes, she listened to your problems (but didn’t give advice; that was, once again, Barb’s department). She remembered people’s birthdays, but never knew what to get them. It was a curse, she told herself.

Except for today. Today was Barb’s birthday. She’d told Tatiana once, over lunch, and Tatiana made an immediate mental note. She then plastered post-it's all over her desk and circled it really big in red on her calendar. April seventh, with a teeny heart in the corner. She’d slaved away all night trying to bake cupcakes, and it was hours before she got a batch that had a single, perfect cupcake. It was a bit burnt around the edges, but it was an edible cupcake, and that’s all Tatiana could’ve asked for. She’d topped it with cream cheese frosting, with sprinkles that looked like planets because Barb was a huge space nerd.

She headed into the A.S.S, cupcake in hand. She mumbled to herself the entire way to Barb’s office. “Hello, Barb, good morning. It’s your birthday, happy birthday. Hello, Barb, good morning. It’s your birthday, happy birthday. Hello, Barb, good-“

“Tatiana!” Curt stepped in front of her, catching the Russian by surprise and causing her to nearly bump into him.

“Hello, Barb, good morning- Oh, Curt, hello.” Tatiana glanced around him, frowning at the large crowd of people who were in Barb’s doorway. “Am I not the first to wish a happy birthday to Barb?” She didn’t mean it offensively, but she’d always assumed that no one remembered Barb’s birthday.

“Oh, shit, it’s her birthday… that makes this whole situation a hell of a lot worse.”

Tatiana furrowed a brow. “Situation… Curt, what are you on about?”

Curt chewed his lip nervously. “I… well, you see-“

“Everyone, get to work. We need all hands on deck to retrieve Agent Larvernor, fucking alive, might I add. She’s the best god damn agent this facility has, full offense to you, Mega- oh, but none to you, Slozhno, you’re pretty damn good yourself-“

“What happened to Barb?” Tatiana asked, heart picking up speed a bit. Surely it wasn’t what she thought, she’d simply misheard Cynthia. Maybe-

“Our security cameras caught footage of Agent Larvernor being taken from her office last night. Our team is currently-“

Cynthia’s words washed over Tatiana as her brain went into hyperdrive. Gone? Barb was gone? Surely they’d been mistaken. Cynthia’s mouth was still going, but Tatiana couldn’t hear her over the roaring in her ears. She was drowning in an ocean of her own thoughts. She pushed past the large crowd of people, looking around Barb’s office in panic. “ _Der'mo_ …” Tatiana cursed softly when she couldn’t lay eyes on Barb. The cupcake fell to the floor as she pushed her way back out of the room and down to the science wing. 

In a warehouse in Lucania, Italy 

When Barb came-to, it was still dark outside. She blinked a bit, eyes bleary as she peered around the room to try and assess her situation. She had no idea where she was, but she was certain of two things: her glasses had a large crack in the right lens, and she had a splitting headache. She added a third thought to the list as she tried to move her hands, finding them instead tied behind her back in the chair she was in. She groaned as she lifted her head the best she could. “Mm… where am I?” 

“ _Ah, lei è sveglia.” A deep voice came from the corner of the room to Barb’s left, and as she turned to look, she cried out as an intense pain suddenly shot through her shoulder. The source of the voice laughed darkly, and a tall, dark figure stepped forward. “You are giving us American secrets.”_

_Barb’s eyes widened as she peered up at the man, who came slowly into view; he was drastically taller than she was, and a lot of his face was covered with a beard that looked worse than Curt’s had. He had an impressive scar from his bushy left eyebrow that met his beard, and Barb assumed from the shape of the scar at the meeting point meant that it continued long past it. He cracked his knuckles menacingly as Barb spoke. “S-secrets? I-I’m afraid I’m not the girl you want if you want secrets-“_

_The man leaned in close, eliciting a soft noise of fear from Barb. He reeked of man smell, and a hint of bourbon. “You play dumb, _piccola ragazza, but we know you. We know of your knowledge of such things. You work with computers, computers hold information, and so do you.” Barb winced as the cold metal of a blade was pressed against her throat. “Now, you will tell this information. Do not hold it in.”__

__Barb swallowed thickly, words coming shakily. “I-I-“ She shook her head as well as she could. “I-I’m afraid that I don’t have any information to give you-“ the knife pressed closer to her throat. “B-but, with the, um, with the r-right tools, I could, um… show you how to make r-rocket shoes?”_ _

__The man froze, giving Barb a once-over before bursting into laughter. “We ask for information for country, you offer us rocket shoes. You play a funny game, _piccola ragazza_. It is too bad for you we do not find your games fun.” With a flick of his hand, he flipped the blade around impressively and, in one swift motion, marked across the side of Barb’s face. She clamped her teeth down on her tongue; she would have cried out, but she remembered in her training for the ASS, where they advised not to appear in any pain, that it would be less enticing for the torturer, and that fact was proving true. Her kidnapper scoffed and glared down at her. “You are making this far less fun for me, _piccola ragazza_. But do not worry your little pretty head,” he leaned in closer, a smirk on his face, and Barb couldn’t help but lean her head back the best she could with a scowl. “I will _make it_ fun.”_ _


	2. Chapter 2

A.S.S. Headquarters, science wing

Tatiana paced back and forth on the linoleum flooding of the science lab, her body still surging with anger and worry. “Have you found anything yet, Charlie?” She asked.

“I’m still working on it, ma’am, and, with all due respect, this is the _fifth_ time you’ve asked me that question in the past twenty minutes, and it’s getting a bit hard to focus-“

“Well focus _harder_ , Milos!” Tatiana snapped before rubbing the bridge of her nose, pacing faster then.

Curt, who was sitting on one of the tables, legs dangling over the edge, shook his head. “Tati, he’s doing the best he can-“

“Well, it isn’t good enough.” Tatiana said, glaring at Curt, who jumped a bit before scooting over and patting the seat beside him. Tatiana sighed and sat down, putting her head in her hands. “If they so much as _think_ about laying a hand on her… if we find her and she’s….”

Hesitantly, Curt rested a hand on her shoulder. “Hey… we’ll find her, okay? Charlie’s doing the best he can with his equipment, and he can’t focus with you yelling at him.”

Tatiana sighed heavily. “I suppose you are right, Curt…” she leaned her head to rest on his shoulder, and he rubbed her back gently. “And if you tell anyone about this, I will cut your toes off and feed them to my cats.”

“I would never.” Curt said, smiling sadly down at her.

“That goes for you, too, Milos.” She glared over at him. Charlie gulped loudly before quickly turning his gaze back to the machine and set to work once more.

Hours passed, and it was getting late. Tatiana had still been snapping at Charlie, but not as much after Curt warned her otherwise. No signal had come up for Barb, and Tatiana was back to her pacing again. The bags under her eyes were impressively large and dark, and Curt was growing more and more worried about her. “Hey… maybe you should get home and sleep.”

Tatiana, who was turned in Charlie’s direction, whipped around to face Curt. “No, I am _not_ going home, and I am _not_ going to sleep. I am going to find Barb, no matter what it takes.”

“I understand that, but-“

“But _nothing _, Curt. I’m not going home, I can’t, not when there is work to be done. We need to find Barb and bring her home.”__

__“Right, but-“_ _

__“ _No_ , Curt. I’ll…” She paused, thinking for a moment. “I will stay here, in Barb’s office.”_ _

__“Really? In Barb’s office. Where she got taken but a day ago.”_ _

__“That is the difference between Barb and I, Curt. She is a strong girl, _da_ , but she has not been trained like I have. If you trained all of your agents how you have been trained, then this wouldn’t have happened.”_ _

__“Do you want me to stay with you? We could do shifts and split the work?”_ _

__Tatiana smiled drowsily. “Curt, you are far too kind. Come along, then. Goodnight, Charlie, we will see you in the morning.”_ _

__At his dismissal, Charlie all but ran out of the room and for his car in the parking lot. Tatiana sighed and shook her head, leading Curt to Barb’s office._ _

__Cynthia was getting her last cup of coffee as they passed. “And just where do you think you’re going?” She sipped at her steaming hot cup, raising a brow at the pair._ _

__“We are going to do some more research on Barb’s whereabouts.” Tatiana said, making her own cup of coffee. “I will not stop until I find her.”_ _

__Cynthia raised her cup a bit. “That’s why I like you, Slozhno; you’re dedicated to your craft. You’re a tough bitch, and I respect that.”_ _

__“Wait, what about me? I’m dedicated!” Curt protested, stuffing his hands in his pockets._ _

__“Yeah, but that’s the difference: you just bitch, and I have little respect for you.” Cynthia said with a shrug, putting her cup down to light a cigarette. “Don’t stay up too late. We want you two competent when we find Agent Larvernor, because I assume the two of you will be leading the charge.”_ _

__Tatiana nodded curtly. “Yes, ma’am. Returning Barb to safety is my top priority.”_ _

__“As it should be. Well,” she paused to puff at her cigarette. “the best of luck to the two of you, and if you’re still up by the time everyone comes in, get some fucking sleep.” She grabbed her cup and headed for the door._ _

__“Awe, you _do_ care!” Curt called after her. Cynthia simply put her cigarette in her mouth and flipped him off without even turning around before heading out of the building, putting the access code in to lock the door. “She… she _does_ care…” Curt said softly._ _

__

__Warehouse in Lucania, Italy_ _

__After several hours at the hand of her captor, Barb found herself broken on the inside. She hadn’t said a word, had barely made any sound but a soft wince here or there. She wouldn’t, _couldn’t_ , let him see how he affected her. She had to stay strong, had to keep hoping that someone, _anyone_ , from the A.S.S. would find her. Tearing her from her thoughts, the man slapped her hard across the face. “You are no fun, _piccola ragazza_ , but not fear, we will continue later.” He packed up his knives and left the room to feed himself._ _

__Looking over at the pack on the table across the room from her, the stinging, burning pain returned to Barb’s abdomen as a cruel reminder of what had happened over the past hours. Had it been hours? She had no idea, and no way of knowing, her watch was on her wrist, and her wrists were still tied together behind her on the chair. She looked down at her stomach, where the angry red, still blood-stained marks remained. She swallowed thickly, wanting to succumb to the aching urge to have her hands freed so she could tend to her own wounds. She tugged experimentally at her restraints, but the efforts were fruitless; she winced as the ropes bit at her skin, and she was positive there would be a bit of bruising on them when she got out- _if_ she got out.__

___She shook her head as her eyes fluttered closed. She fought back the tears that stung in them, exhaling shakily. They would find her. She was sure of it. She just wish she could help in some way. Unless…_ _ _

___Barb gasped softly, head rising a bit. “The locator…” She breathed, trying to keep her voice down. If she could just figure out how to do it backwards… she took the time to memorize all of the buttons and their locations and range to each other. She tried to think of the right sequence to send out a signal, and was just about to start pressing the buttons when she heard footsteps approach behind her. She dropped her hands quickly, bracing herself for what was to come._ _ _


	3. Chapter 3

A.S.S. Headquarters, Barb’s Office

Tatiana woke to the voices of the agents throughout the building, the hum steadily growing louder. Her hair was tied back into a messy ponytail, and she’d been given a set of training clothes, a sweatshirt and a pair of matching sweatpants, from Irene in the science wing, who’d felt bad for Tatiana, and Barb, and wanted to help. She’d even offered to stay after hours to help, giving Charlie the freedom to do his work.

Tatiana stood and stretched, groaning softly as her back cracked. She rubbed her face, yawning wide, and headed to the coffee maker to grab herself a large cup. She had impressive bags under her eyes, and no one dared mention it to her.

Despite that, Curt came over and nudged her hip with his own, making his own coffee. “You look like hell.” He teased, smiling sadly. “You’ve been here for three days, you should-“

“Curt. I know what you’re going to say, and thank you. But I can’t go, I have to stay here, I have to help, Irene-“

“Can do it without you for a day. She’s a genius, it’s why she got hired here, she knows what she’s doing. You just go home, and-“

“Tatiana.” Irene came around the corner. “We’ve got something.”

Tatiana met Curt’s gaze, then headed into the lab. She peered up at the projector screen, brow furrowed. “You’re sure you found something.”

“Yes, ma’am. They’re weak, but we’ve received a few blips, so to speak, from Agent Larvernor’s watch. They’re weak, but-“

“Where is she? Can you find where the signals came from?” Tatiana asked, setting her coffee down on the table.

“Well, as I said, they’re pretty weak signals, which means there’s the possibility of a false signal, but-“

“ _Adams_. Where is she?” Tatiana insisted, heading over to stand beside her.

Irene chewed her lip, pushing a button that brought up another slide, showing a map of Italy. “Here. As mentioned before, the signal was weak, but there’s an eighty-to-twenty chance that it came from this area specifically.” She pointed at an area in the lower corner. “We’ll do everything in our power to get you her exact coordinates.”

Tatiana nodded curtly and sighed. “Thank you, Irene, you have been most helpful.”

Irene smiled sadly. “Thank you, ma’am. We’ll get her back. I miss her, too, you know, just… maybe not as much as you.” She rested a hand on Tatiana’s shoulder before leaving the room.

Curt frowned after Irene, then looked over at Tatiana. “Not as much as you miss her, what the hell is- Tatiana?”

Tatiana sniffled and wiped her eyes quickly. “We’re so close…” she whispered, looking back up at the map, eyes bleary. “We’ll find you, _malen'kiy golub’._ ” She jumped a bit in surprise as Curt rested a hand on her knee, and she glanced over at him. “O-oh… I’m sorry…” she said softly. “I just…”

“You like her, don’t you?” Curt asked, keeping his voice soft. “That’s why you’re so intent on finding her. Because you like her.”

Tatiana wiped at her eyes, glancing down at her feet. “Perhaps…” She was surprised her voice escaped her mouth.

“You know that’s okay, right? I mean, join the fucking club.” Curt laughed softly, shaking his head. “Just because I lost my partner... doesn’t mean that you have to. I’m going to help you, okay? We’re gonna go to Italy, kick ass, and get her out of there, alive, might I add. Alright?” Tatiana was silent for a moment, and Curt grew worried that he’d said the wrong thing. “Hey, Tati, I-“

“ _Oh, Curt_!” She cried out suddenly, throwing her arms around him tightly and sobbing into his shirt. He jumped back before hugging her tightly, rubbing her back gently. He was quiet as he allowed her to let all of her sleep-deprivation-induced emotions free. “Th-Thank you, Curt… _YA lyublyu tebya_ …” she whispered.

“I love you, too, Tatiana.” Curt said, kissing her hair gently.

A warehouse in Lucania, Italy

Barb was hardly conscious by the fifth day. Her captor had given her little food or drink the entire time she’d been there, and she’d lost quite a bit of blood.

“Are you going to scream today, _piccola ragaza_?” The man asked, examining the knife in his hand. When Barb didn’t reply, the man simply shrugged. “That is just fine with me, I mind not giving you a few more _bei segni_ …” he turned away from her and grabbed a small compact tool from a bag. “Are you telling secrets now?” He glanced over his shoulder at Barb, who looked away indignantly. The man chuckled and offered her a shrug. “Fine, fine… have your way.” He rested the knife on a bit of the contraption before closing it. “I have ways of making you speak, _piccola ragaza_. You wait and just see.” After a moment, he pulled the knife from the contraption, the blade now bright orange. The sight of it made Barb squirm involuntarily, and the man chuckled. “Ah, you do not like this, eh, _piccola ragaza_? Then we are having fun time indeed.” He crept closer to Barb, a wide smirk on his face. “You give us secrets now.” Barb just stared up at him, and the man shrugged once more. “If you say so.”

He brought the blade down to slice open a bit of Barb’s leg, and she had just enough time to scream before a window on the far side of the room shattered. “ _Merda_ \- you hold this now.” He plunged the knife into Barb’s thigh and she screamed once more, louder than before.

Tears clouded her vision, and she barely registered the bullet passing through the man’s head and his body crumpling to the ground. Someone ran up to her, wide-eyed in fear. She was saying something, something Barb couldn’t quite make out. She squeezed her eyes shut, tried to focus. When she opened them again, she recognized the feminine shape before her. Suddenly her face was being cupped gently, turned a bit. “Barb… Barb, can you hear me? _Malen'kiy golub’_ , I am so sorry…”

“T… Tati…” Barb mumbled, a weak smile spreading across her face before blackness consumed her.


	4. Chapter 4

“You’re absolutely certain that this is where Barb is being kept?” Tatiana asked Irene, looking down at the papers she held in her hand before peering back up at the scientist.

“Yes, ma’am. Cynthia is sending other agents to guard the building while you charge it.” Irene nodded. “Now,” she gripped Tatiana’s shoulders. “go get her, tiger.”

An overwhelming feeling washed over Tatiana as she pulled Irene in for a tight hug. “Thank you, Irene, you are a very good friend.”

Irene smiled and hugged her back. “Don’t mention it. Just get her back.”

Tatiana rushed out of the room, and Curt rocked awkwardly on his heels. “Adams.” He offered her a hand.

Irene looked down at his hand before meeting his gaze, then shook it. “Mega.”

“Great work. See you on the other side.” He said before hurrying after Tatiana.

Tatiana was an anxious mess the whole plane ride, Curt resting a hand on her knee comfortingly. “We’ll find her, alright?” He reminded her. “She’ll be okay.”

Tatiana pulled the papers Irene had given her from her bag, toying with the corner nervously. “I hope so…”

After the plane touched down, Tatiana booked it for the address that matched the coordinates. Curt had never seen her so determined, so terrifying. He’d hate to be on the they end of that, and reminded himself not to ever be. As they approached the building, Curt started to speak. “Right, we need to find a good, inconspicuous way of entry- oh, alright.”

Tatiana had already busted through the window, gun drawn. As soon as she saw the man’s face, Barb’s scream elevated her anger and she shot him, point blank between the eyes. She dropped her gun, tears streaming freely down her face as she hurried to Barb’s side, counting on Curt to survey the area. “Barb… Barb, can you hear me? Malen'kiy golub’, I am so sorry…” she took Barb’s chin in her hand, tipping it back gently so she could see her face; swelled, bruised, and bloodied.

Still, at the sound of Tatiana’s voice, a small, weak smile broke out across Barb’s face. “T… Tati…” She breathed, before her head fell limp in Tatiana’s hand.

Tatiana’s tears flowed faster then as she went into autopilot, working to quickly untie Barb before taking her in her arms. “Curt, we’re running out of time!” She yelled, booking it back for the private jet.

“You can’t run all that way with her, let me-!”

_“Ne skazhite mne, chto delat'!”_ Tatiana ran faster, finding a sudden burst in adrenaline. Once she was on the plane, she finally allowed the medical professionals to take Barb from her. She sat, leg bouncing anxiously.

Curt ran onto the plane a moment later, immensely out of breath. “How…. h… how the fuck did…. you do that?” He panted. But Tatiana was silent. She was man-spreading, elbows rested on her knees with her face in her hands. Curt sat slowly beside her, gingerly resting a hand on her back. “Hey… we got her back… she’s alive, thanks to you.”

“Barely.” Tatiana mumbled, voice softer than Curt had ever heard her speak. “I didn’t do shit. I should have been there-“

“Hey, look at me.” Curt searched her face. “Look at me, Tatiana.” She did, eyes red and puffy. “I don’t want to hear you say that ever again, okay? You did everything in your fucking power to save her life, and you did.” When she started to object, Curt held up a hand. “You were the one who led the charge to find her. You were the one who slept a total of twelve hours in five days because you were looking for her. You were the one that shot that bastard down and got Barb here to safety. So I don’t want to hear you say that you didn’t do shit. Okay? Because you did every goddamn thing that you could.”

Tatiana rested her head on Curt’s shoulder. “Curt, you are making it sound like I’m the hero.”

Curt pulled her close. “Because you are, okay? Now hush, get some rest.”

It took a bit of effort, but Tatiana slept the entire plane ride back to the A.S.S. Curt poured her a hot cup of black coffee when they got back. He walked her to the hospital wing, where they sat together on one of the small couches. After hours of silence, the door opened. “Agent Slozhno?” The female doctor called softly.

Tatiana’s head snapped up immediately. “How is she? Can I see her?”

The woman nodded, and Tatiana turned to Curt. “I’ll be right out here.”

Tatiana followed the doctor inside, sighing sadly as she got a good look at Barb; she was breathing, but barely. They’d had to use a breathing tube for her. “How… What is the…” Tatiana couldn’t even find words.

The doctor, however, nodded in understanding. “She has a few broken ribs, multiple stab wounds, some infected, but by far the worst injury was to her right thigh, where a heated knife was plunged. She didn’t suffer any bleeding from it, but her femur is fractured, and she’ll need a bit of physical therapy due to some muscle damage. She also endured quite a bit of blood loss, so we’ll need to find a few donors who match her blood type.”

“How… how long do you think it will be until…”

“Until she wakes up? I’m not entirely sure. She’ll have to find that out on her own. In the meantime, I’ll give the two of you some privacy, orders directly from Cynthia herself. Best of luck to you, Agent Slozhno.” 

“Thank you…” Tatiana said, voice quiet. She turned back to Barb, heart aching in her chest. She pulled up a chair and sat beside her bed, taking her hand. “Hello, _malen'kiy golub’_...” she toyed with Barb’s fingers. “It’s… it has been a very long five days without your smiling face… or just your face at all… I-“ She sighed softly. “I’m not quite sure why this is so hard for me to say… maybe it’s because I fear that you will reject me, throw me out into the cold…” another sigh, and she thought of Curt, and how silent he’d had to be. She closed her eyes and continued. “You mean a lot to me, Barb… the whole world, in fact… and I’m sorry that I’m telling you this now, when you can’t even hear me, but…” She opened her eyes again, looking tearfully at Barb’s beaten face. “I love you, Barb Larvernor. I do, truly. You give me _babochki_ when you smile at me, when you laugh… when you remember the things that I like, and what I don’t like… I love the way your tiny little nose crinkles when you get happy, and the dance you do when something goes right for you…” Tatiana smiled softly at the memory, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m in love with you, Barb Larvernor.” She whispered.

Days passed, and several people came by to bring flowers and well-wishes; Cynthia, Curt, Susan, Irene, Charlie, even Mikey, who hardly came out of his inventing hole in the lab. 

On day five, Tatiana was leaned over on the bed from her chair, fast asleep when Curt brought her a tray of food. He smiled sadly at the sight, pressing a soft kiss to Tati’s hair and setting the tray down before leaving. Just as soon as he closed the door, there was a gentle squeeze on Tatiana’s hand, and Barb’s eyes fluttered open.

“Hngh… Tati…?”


	5. Chapter 5

Barb blinked away the bleariness of sleep and peered around the room. There was a soft pressure on her hand, and she involuntarily squeezed back. She wasn’t sure where she was, but her last thought had been- “Hngh… Tati…?”

Beside her, at the sound of her name, Tatiana stirred a bit. “Mm… Hmm?”

Barb smiled softly at the sight, grunting a bit as she readjusted so she could nudge her gently. “Tati… Tatiana, wake up.”

Tatiana’s head rose, hair a mess in her face, as she blinked in confusion. “Hmm…?” She froze when her eyes met Barb’s. “ _Barb_!” She cried, throwing her arms around her. She started sobbing uncontrollably, and Barb patted her back comfortingly.

“Hey, don’t cry, I’m here, it’s alright…” Barb stroked Tati’s hair lightly, heart aching at the sight of her.

“I-I thought y-you weren’t going to w-wake up…” Tatiana hiccuped, lifting her head to look at Barb. “Y-you’re sure I’m not dreaming?”

“Real as I’ll ever be, sweetcheeks.” Barb grinned, though weakly, and patted Tatiana’s cheek. “How… how did I…?”

Tatiana rested a hand over Barb’s, tears soaking both of them. “H-he stabbed you, a-and Curt and I, w-we got you out of there…”

All of the memories from her time in captivity came flooding back to her Barb. “Thank you… I mean it.” She ran a thumb over Tatiana’s cheek, wiping her tears away. “Did they… did they tell you how bad off I was?”

“Yeah, that you have a few broken ribs, multiple stab wounds, and… an impressive amount of blood loss. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it now, but… I’m here to listen, okay? I’ve been in, how you say, the same boat when it comes to- that sort of thing.”

Barb nodded, but grew quiet. She didn’t think there would ever be a time that she wanted to talk about it.

Tati read her face like a book and was about to say something, until Curt knocked on the door and poked his head in. “Hey, Tatiana, I- oh, Barb, you’re awake! Good, this one,” he nodded at Tatiana. “was a complete wreck trying to find you, hardly slept in the five days you were gone, and she ran you back to the jet herself. I’ll come back later, though, you two have… quite a bit to talk about.” He locked eyes with Tatiana before stepping back out.

Barb’s brows furrowed. “Quite a bit to talk about? About what?” She peered up at Tatiana curiously.

“W-well, Barb, you see, I…” Tatiana trailed off. “I told you this while you were out, but-“ she sighed heavily. “I… Barb, I think I’m in love with you.”

Barb blinked in surprise. No one had ever said that to her before, especially someone like Tatiana. “I… I’m sorry, you what?”

Tatiana peered down at her lap, ashamed. “I should have known that you wouldn’t feel the same way about me… I’m sorry, I’ve made this so awkward, I’ll leave-“

“Hey.” Barb stopped her, grabbing her hand as she stood up. “Kiss me?”

Tati’s cheeks flushed a light pink. “You… y-you want me to-?”

“If you really mean it, if you really like me… prove it. Money where your mouth is.”

Tatiana laughed softly, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on Barb’s lips, careful of her injuries. Barb kissed in kind, tangling her fingers into the mess of red. Tati pulled away after a moment, exhaling shakily. “I… that was… wow… I had no idea you were-“

“A lesbian?” Barb pressed her forehead to Tati’s, smiling brightly.

“Yeah… after you spent all of that time pining after Curt, I just assumed…”

“Well, that’s why you shouldn’t assume, I guess. You, though… you’re the perfect woman, Tatiana, and I never in a million years thought that someone like you could be interested in someone like me…” 

Tatiana frowned at this. “I do not understand what you mean.”

“Well…” Barb sat back, toying with her fingers. “Someone like you, who’s… beautiful, smart, funny, witty, a total badass…. they don’t usually fall for the mousy, nerdy… annoying type…”

“Hey. Look at me.” Barb peered over at Tatiana sheepishly. “You are _not_ annoying, okay? In fact, you are everything but. Other people don’t take the time to look inside of you, Barb, and… they need to. Because you are such an amazing person. You’re kind, caring, compassionate, funny…” she reached out to cup Barb’s cheek gently. “...beautiful. My _malen'kiy golub’_...”

Barb flushed a deep red, glancing away but nuzzling into Tati’s hand. “What… what does that mean? That last bit?”

“Oh, _malen'kiy golub’_? It means ‘little dove’.”

“Oh… out of curiosity… why dove? I don’t have anything against it, I’m just curious.” Barb moved her head to kiss Tatiana’s palm.

“Well,” Tatiana started. “the dove is the symbol of love, as well as peace. Both of those things apply to you. I’m… in love with you, and… you make me feel at peace.”

Barb’s cheek heated against Tatiana’s palm, and she moved to kiss her again. They didn’t break from their embrace until someone in the doorway cleared their throat.

“Agent Larvernor, glad to see you’re awake and in good spirits.”

If Barb wasn’t already flushing, she would have been then. “S-sorry, ma’am… I just-“

“No,” Cynthia said, holding a hand up. “you don’t have to tell me. I’ve seen Tatiana struggle through a week without you, and I’ll be damned if you two don’t get your happy fucking ending or whatever. I just came by to drop this off.” She brought a slip of paper over to Barb. “You will receive pay for the time that you’ll have off for your recovery, however long it may take, as will Tatiana, who is, as of this moment, relieved from her duties until you get your ass healed. We’ve also, thanks to the… I can’t believe I’m about to say this, _brilliant thought_ of the world’s greatest fucking dumbass Agent Mega, began plans to train all of our agents in self-defense. We… apologize that it took this long, Barb, and… we’d,” Cynthia cleared her throat. “we’d like to offer you a compensation. A sort of workman’s comp, if you will.” She offered Barb a manila envelope with a rather impressive amount of cash.

Barb choked a bit. “Ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t take this-“

“You have to, my direct orders. Oh, also, there’s a bit in there from my good friend John.”

Barb’s hands trembled as she laid the envelope down on her lap. “Thank you, ma’am…”

“Don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t fucking mention it. If word goes around that I’ve gone soft, I’ll kill both of you myself.” She started out the door, then stopped, turning back to Barb. “Hey, Barb?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

A hint of a smile spread across Cynthia’s face. “Good to have you back, kid.”

Barb’s heart swelled as she nodded, beaming. “Thank you, ma’am. Good to be back.”

“Oh, and happy birthday. It’s a bit late, but… all the same.” Cynthia smiled again before heading out the door. 

Tatiana had insisted Barb come and stay with her so she didn’t have to stay at home on her own. “Are you hungry?” Tatiana asked, kissing Barb’s temple.

“Maybe a little… what are you making?” Barb toyed with her fingers. “I’d hate to inconvenience you…”

“Nonsense, _golub'_ , I’ll make whatever you want. Now, come on, tell me.” Tatiana sat on the edge of the bed.

Barb pursed her lips, considering. “We coooould get a pizza delivered?”

Tatiana raised a brow. “Barb. You have me, your loving, devoted partner to cater to your every whim, to cook you whatever your _milen'koye serdtse_ desires, and you want _pizza_?”

Barb laughed. “Yes? I’m sorry I’m not like a typical partner, who always enjoys cooking for their partner and having them cook, and I know that pizza is boring, but-“

“Hey, Barb?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.” Tatiana grinned, leaning over to kiss her softly. “Do you want pepperoni?”

“And peppers, if that’s okay with you?” Barb giggled against Tatiana’s lips.

Tatiana smiled and pecked Barb’s lips before heading for the phone. “Of course, _moya lyubov'_.” She said, kissing Barb’s hair before calling the order in.

Barb watched her, hugging the blankets. Her eyes moved over every inch of Tatiana that she could see. She was so perfect, Barb thought. There wasn’t a single imperfection about her. She was the most beautifully, god-sent built woman in existence, and she was just… _Barb_. Small and averagely-built, with a bit of baby weight still on her face, but nothing to be ashamed of. She shook it off, pushing her feelings back into the part of her brain they’d come from.

The pair ate the pizza curled up together on Tatiana’s bed, sharing a few smooches here and there. “How are you feeling?” Tatiana asked after most of the pizza was gone.

“Hmm? Oh, I’m alright, thanks… I could use a shower, though…”

“Oh, of course, I’ll help you. Come on.” Tatiana slipped carefully under Barb’s arm, helping her to the bathroom. “Do you need my help getting undressed?”

Barb froze. That thought hadn’t occurred to her. She couldn’t let Tatiana see how bad of shape she was in. She shook her head. “That’s Alright. I can do it.”

Tatiana frowned. “Are you sure? I’d hate for you to hurt yourself-“

“Really, I’m fine, I promise.”

“Alright…” Tati sighed. “Well, I’ll be right around the corner, okay?”

“Okay, Thank you.” Barb smiled after her. Her smile quickly faded as she sighed heavily. “Alright, Barb, you can do it…” she said, working to undress herself. She got to her bra and underwear, braced herself against the counter, and looked herself over in the mirror. She let out a shaky breath as her eyes moved over every mark across her body. She felt… unattractive, to say the least. Sure, Tatiana told her that she loved her, but she could never love what lay underneath.

Her eyes welled up with tears as she gripped the sink tight. She squeezed them shut, trying to will them away, but they flowed freely despite her best efforts. She stood there for a few minutes, looking at herself and crying softly about how much she hated what she saw. Eventually, when she had mostly composed herself, she moved to take her bra off. A sharp, sudden pain coursed through her chest as her ribs shifted, and she cried out loudly.

Tatiana rushed into the room, eyes wide with fear. “Barb!” She stopped dead in her tracks, surveying the scene. She hurried over to Barb, gently though quickly pulling her down to the floor, where she sat and pulled Barb into her arms. She shushed her gently. “Hey, Hey, it’s alright, I’m here… you’re okay.”

“N-no, don’t look at me, please! I-I’m… I look awful, Tati, I kn-know I do, and for you to say that y-you could love someone who l-looks like this…”

Tatiana stroked her hair thoughtfully. “You do…” she suggested aloud.

“Wh… what?” Barb breathed. “Wh-What do you mean?”

“You love someone who looks like this.” Tatiana said, running a hand through Barb’s hair now. “You… you have not seen me the way I am seeing you now… we are alike, you and I.”

“Tati, I-I don’t understand-“

But Tatiana was already pulling her top off to reveal the countless battle scars that littered her body. Barb breathed softly, hesitantly reaching out to stroke Tatiana’s mark-covered stomach. 

“They told me they were going to help me, that I would be one of the best members of the entire KGB… these are punishment marks. Every time that I missed a target, failed a mission…” Tatiana looked off, eyes far away. “Punished.”

“Oh, Tati…” Barb whispered. “I… I-I didn’t mean to downgrade your marks in any way…”

Tati smiled down at her. “You didn’t, darling, don’t worry, please… my only hope in showing you this was so that you would feel less alone. Do you feel less alone, Barb?”

Barb peered up at her. “Y-yes… I’m sorry that that happened to you…”

Tatiana waved her comment away. “That is in the past, dove. I am a new and better person because of it. The same will happen to you, in time. Are you alright?”

After a moment of composure, Barb nodded. “I-I… I think so… I’m ready to shower now.”

Tati stayed with her this time, showering with her to assist her where she couldn’t or it hurt to reach. It wasn’t a moment of passion so much as a different sort of intimacy, one that built trust between the two.

Tatiana gave Barb her fluffiest pair of pajamas, the ones she wore only when she was truly feeling herself. They snuggled in bed after Tati had brushed Barb’s hair out. “Goodnight, Barb… _YA lyublyu tebya_.”

“I love you, too, Tati… goodnight…” Barb curled into Tati’s chest the best she could, falling asleep quickly.


End file.
